Got myself out of bed fairly early this morning and did my 21st consecutive day at the gym. I’m so proud of myself! It’s been difficult keeping this up. I’ve also curbed my spending and my drinking and I’ve stopped smoking weed entirely. It’s all for the best. I have to remember that. It will all be worth it.
Took transit up to Casa Z, did laundry, and worked my first shift at The Store since that meltdown I had back in December. While on this constant hunt for work, sometimes I forget that I technically do have a job. I mean, if you can even call it that with the five hours a month I work there. It’s not my favorite. I’ll leave it at that. But, again, it’s worth it in the long run. Especially when that whopping $50 direct deposit hits. However, despite the many hats I may wear for that job, working retail is not a career path I want to continue on. I love the girls I work with, but The Store has always been a part-time gig for me. At this point, especially living downtown, it’s not economical to work that far north. They also wouldn’t have full-time hours to offer me even if I wanted them. The Store is a job and I need a career.
Went back to Casa Z after work, which is where I am now. I’m frustrated. Mom and Dad wouldn’t drive me back downtown, and that means I have to sleep here tonight. I know how entitled that sounds, but I want to maintain my routine and this is throwing it off. I’m afraid of slipping. I’ll be back at my place tomorrow afternoon.
I’m going to keep pushing through this week with everything. It’s the last stretch before I’m on vacation and I need to make sure everything is in order, including getting my drag queen across the border for MOMENTS. Fucking Hellacious!
Not sure if I mentioned this before, but RX’s sister recently messaged me on Facebook with a Disney-related question because RX told her I would know the answer. Seriously? Like, fuck the fuck off, buddy. I genuinely like his sister – his whole family, really – so obviously I wasn’t going to be a dick and ignore her. I was friendly, answered her question with an essay-length response, and helped her out. RX shouldn’t be sending his siblings to me like that, though. We do not have that type of relationship anymore. In fact, we do not have any type of relationship anymore. He made that very clear two months ago. Remember? Just before he sent me home crying to “We Belong Together”?
“I don’t know her.”
Goodnight xo
Mariah always knows just what to say.
"We Belong Together" - Mariah Carey