January 11

Errands in Newmarket and some stuff at the house. Sold some clothes to make a bit of cash and got an empty bottle refund at The Beer Store. Every nickel counts, especially now that there are no more pennies.

Drove back downtown and decided on a whim to stop by one of the companies I applied to – a 3D printing group called DigiPrint. Much to my surprise, I ended up meeting the C.E.O., got a full tour of the space, and spoke with the C.E.O.’s right-hand woman who gave me the full scoop! She even gave me a card and asked me to send her my resume for an on-site event staff job. What! Crazy! I felt so sneaky.

After stopping by my apartment, I started driving to the condo/gym to park the car. While I was turning on the Queen’s Park curve, a bus changed lanes without looking or signaling and took out the entire passenger side of my car. Well, he took out the mirror and scratched the rest to shit. He also ran me off the road, so half of my car was sitting on the grass. It was totally his fault, so I was pretty calm throughout everything. We’re going to deal with it all tomorrow.

I told Mom, Dad, and Dan about the accident and they were all shocked. Only then did I think, “Why aren’t I?” I just got smashed into by a goddamn short bus. I feel like after the week I’ve had, this is probably going to be the theme of the month, so I’m mentally blocking everything out and trying to power through the next few weeks.

Logan had some job drama today, which I tried to lend some support to and got no response. Time to step back, I guess. It’s so amazing when I’m with him, but now I feel like I’m dragging even a sliver of emotion from him and it’s...it’s not fun. I’m not looking for constant affection, but I want to be acknowledged. Jesus. Who does this remind me of? It’s about a year to the date, too. Why am I attracted to guys like this? Some kind of daddy issue or lack of approval or something. I’m fucking over it.

I do feel like I’m inching my way closer to a job, though, and seeing $1,000 in my bank account after Mom helped me out is making me feel better. Money is my number one stress for sure. Sad, but true. I already feel more at ease. Prepped for tomorrow’s MOMENTS meeting – very excited. Home, eat, The Nanny, skin treatments, and bed. What a day.

Goodnight xo

David Bowie died yesterday. Logan was a huge fan, so I sent this photo to him in hope that it would make him talk to me. It didn’t work. Royal Cinema, College Street, Toronto

David Bowie died yesterday. Logan was a huge fan, so I sent this photo to him in hope that it would make him talk to me. It didn’t work. Royal Cinema, College Street, Toronto

The incident. Queen's Park, Toronto

The incident. Queen's Park, Toronto

Mostly just a lot of scratches. Queen's Park, Toronto

Mostly just a lot of scratches. Queen's Park, Toronto

My baby got her ass kicked. Queen's Park, Toronto

My baby got her ass kicked. Queen's Park, Toronto