Woke up in a bit of a haze this morning, but without a hangover. Miracles do happen! Is this what it’s like to drink responsibly? I could get used to this.

While still in bed, I tried to get a hold of Dan so that we could talk about last night’s party. Dan wasn’t picking up, so I relived the evening through videos, pictures, and an Instagram post I’d forgotten about. You know, because I really only use social media when I’m intoxicated. After my trip down memory lane, I rolled out of bed and started to figure out my day.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d woken up in my apartment on a Saturday morning and didn’t have to be out the door at 9 a.m. As a result, I took some time to enjoy what’s now the beginning of my last few weekends at the Witch Cave.

Now having migrated to the couch, I put on an episode of The Nanny and made myself a grilled cheese. I know, I know. Eating was against my plan this weekend. However, I knew that if I didn’t put something in my body, I would be asking for trouble. That damned sandwich was gone within seconds. I also took some time for a much-needed rubdown, followed by a short nap. With Aaron visiting from New York City starting tonight, today was my last day alone in the apartment until Tuesday. I wanted to make the most of my solitude.

After my nap, it was time to get things moving. Literally. I packed a bag, walked to the gym, and did my thing. Nothing special. Although, I was proud of myself when I looked in the locker room mirror. My body isn’t perfect. It’s not where I wanted it to be for this weekend, but it’s still a vast improvement from what I looked like at the end of the summer. I’m proud of myself. And, you know what? It feels fucking great. One of the best feelings in the world is being able to wear a t-shirt with carefree confidence. It doesn’t happen often, but when I don’t feel the need to put on an oversized sweater or hold my shirt away from my protruding gut during a gust of wind, I feel like a completely different person. I love it.

I took the subway home from the gym, unpacked quickly, and began getting myself ready for tonight’s round two. By the grace of the Halloween gods (read: devils), I managed to get my eyelashes on in record time. I was ready by 9 p.m., which was around the time Dan came over.

When I put on my wig tonight, Dan and I both looked in the mirror in awe. The same thing happened last night. Seriously. It’s so fucking weird. I look – pretty? I don’t think either of us were expecting the costume to end up that way, but somehow, I wound up looking really, really feminine this year. Maybe it’s the makeup. Perhaps it’s the wig. I don’t know. It’s creepy, though. Now, I understand why that guy thought I was transgender last night. Even I had to do a double take.

We left the house a bit earlier than necessary, because I had the brilliant idea of visiting Carlton Cinema to see about taking some pictures in a movie theater. After all, I didn’t dress up as “Heartbreaker” Mariah Carey without the intention of taking 1,500 photos.

After a hilarious walk down Church Street as I struggled to keep up in my stripper heels, Dan and I made it to the theater. The place was completely empty, except for the teenaged staff behind the concessions counter who looked like they were all stoned, and this one family with three small kids. As you might imagine, jaws hit the floor when Dan (Lady Gaga) and I (Mariah Carey) walked into the lobby.

Despite the theaters all being full, the staff was more than willing to help us out. We were free to roam around the cinema, taking all of the footage we wanted. Did we ever. I ended up lip syncing a verse of “Heartbreaker” so that I could then edit the clip into a mini music video afterwards. Given that I’ve known the track verbatim since high school and have watched the music video six times a day for the last month, I knew I would get the shot I wanted. It’s incredible. Before we left, I hopped my ass up on the concessions counter next to the popcorn machine and took my money shot. It was a moment, dahhhling!

From Carlton Cinema, we schlepped over to Chad Miller’s apartment for yet another lame ass party. Dan keeps telling me about the legendary night they had this past summer, and I believe him less and less each time he takes me there. Although, I will say that this time Chad was somewhat tolerable. For once, we actually had a decent conversation. Chad treated me like a real person. You know, rather than the freak show that he just wants to get information out of. That being said, a part of me still feels as though Chad isn’t the most genuine person. Maybe that’s just how he is. I don’t know.

We made the most of the party. I mingled, I drank, I gave a winning performance of “Heartbreaker,” and eventually it was time to go. Aaron’s flight from New York City had landed and he had arrived at my apartment, so I told him to stay there. Dan and I wanted more alcohol, and figured it would be easier to get it at home rather than having Aaron find us somewhere in the Village.

Back at the Witch Cave, we met up with Aaron and had a few drinks. The three of us also watched some of Mariah’s MTV Cribs episode to get us in the Mimi spirit. When that was over, we strutted down the street to Woody’s.

In usual scammer fashion, I somehow managed to sneak an entire bottle of gin and a champagne flute into Woody’s without the bouncer noticing. Instead of buying drinks at the bar, I would set up shop in a bathroom stall and chug from my bottle whenever I got thirsty. I would’ve loved to have seen the image of a seven-foot-tall transvestite Mariah Carey in a gay bar bathroom stall, pounding back a giant bottle of gin. Now, that is a moment.

Here’s where the night gets a bit tricky. Phillip had told me earlier in the day that he was going to have some friends over for a late-night dance session at his house across town. I wanted to go. Partly because I wanted more people to see my costume, but also because I wanted to have an interaction with PW. I know, I’m ridiculous. But, I was feeling my look and wanted to show it off.

At 1 a.m., I decided I would make the trip to Phillip’s. The only problem? I didn’t want anyone else coming with me. I realize that was a dick move, but I think I had solid reasoning. Have we forgotten the last time I mixed my social group with Phillip’s? No. I was not in the mood for any potential drama, but it was more than that. I didn’t want to worry about anyone but myself tonight. I needed an excuse to leave Woody’s.

“I’m going to hook up with someone,” I said.

Looking back, it seems somewhat ridiculous that I would be game to fuck a guy while in full drag. Nevertheless, that was my story and I was sticking to it. Besides, I had planned on telling Aaron and Dan tomorrow that the hook up didn’t work out and that I ended up going to Phillip’s instead. It just so happened that this “hook up” lived near my brother. Sometimes, I wonder if I am a sociopath. Ah, whatever!

I left the bar, jumped in a cab, and went to Phillip’s house. Let me tell you, I was not in Kansas anymore. I know that I harp on the Village a lot. Church and Wellesley is often the hottest of messes. However, in terms of self-expression, no area of the city is more accepting and welcoming than the Village. We see just about everything here, to the point that my costume didn’t even faze most people. That wasn’t so much the case in Little Italy. I got some strange looks, but made it to Phillip’s house in one piece. Much to my disappointment, there were four fucking people in his basement – two of which lived in the damn house! Whatever.

I hung out with Phillip and his friend Nicole for a while. Phillip tried on my stripper heels, and we all had a good laugh. I also made everyone in the house watch Mariah Carey music videos for an hour. Soon after that, Nicole and I shared a cab home together and went our separate ways.

When I said goodbye to Phillip tonight, I was fading pretty fast. I had kept it together the whole night, but now it was just plain late. I was tired. Okay, fine. There was a lot of gin involved, too. However, I vividly remember Phillip being a bit more sentimental than usual.

I think Phillip knows that perhaps he puts on a bit of a front sometimes. It’s hard to explain what tonight’s goodbye felt like, but I know that it was genuine and heartfelt. Almost as though Phillip missed me, and knew that the way he had excluded me for so long was wrong. Phillip was also drinking, so maybe his softer side comes through in those moments. Who knows. It was nice, though. I love my brother.

It was around 4 a.m. by the time I arrived back at the Witch Cave. After quickly scrubbing the pound of makeup off my face, I crawled into my bed where Aaron was fake sleeping.

Halloween round two? Done.

I LOVE HALLOWEEN SO MUCH! I LOVE BEING MARIAH CAREY!

Honestly, I want to reprise this costume every six months. Love you much, dahhhlings!

Goodnight xo

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💔✨

A post shared by Kurt ✨ (@yalittlenasty) on Oct 29, 2016 at 12:23am PDT

The @yalittlenasty Instagram post from last night I’d forgotten about.

Still looking for Mariah’s arch-nemesis, “Bianca Storm.” Church-Wellesley Village, Toronto

Perhaps Bianca is hiding in the movie theater? Carlton Cinema, Toronto

Misquoting the music video. Carlton Cinema, Toronto

Take one. Carlton Cinema, Toronto

This is peak Mariah Carey fandom. Lip syncing a verse of “Heartbreaker” without any music. See Instagram post below for the final product. Carlton Cinema, Toronto