May 28

Today was pretty much on par with the rest of the week. Although, I do feel like each day has been slightly better than the last. That’s a good thing, right? Right!

Despite happening year-round, the “Spring Sweats” – as I like to call them – have returned in full force. That’s when I wake up multiple times throughout the night and early morning with sweat-soaked bed sheets. It always takes me a second to remember that it’s not urine, and that I haven’t actually wet the bed. Note to self: do not start a new relationship in the spring, and also never buy a single-sized bed.

Lately, I’ve sort of been cutting off my social messaging at an early hour each night. I still use my phone, and if it’s something urgent I will respond, but I don’t want to start any new conversations at fucking midnight anymore. That’s why a lot of my messaging happens in the morning.

After my standard internet round-up and some breakfast, it dawned on me that I couldn’t let this year’s upcoming birthday slip away from me. I decided to send out some messages to the usual suspects, and make some plans for next weekend. If the weather holds out, it looks like I’ll be doing another Trinity Bellwoods park day for my birthday – or “anniversary,” as Mariah Carey and I like to call it. Bellwoods was a lot of fun last year. Even though the weather will likely be more suited for a beach day this year, it doesn’t make sense for someone with a bandaged, “must keep dry” foot to host a party on a beach where sand and water inevitably end up in every crevice. So, a park day it is.

This afternoon, I was wrapping up that CNN The Sixties documentary series. I watched the “Sex, Drugs, and Rock ‘N’ Roll” episode, which focused a lot on the hippie counterculture of the decade. I found it fascinating how so many of the views and opinions expressed by those groups are still huge issues today, if not bigger. We’re still dealing with so many closed minds. There’s still so much hatred in the world. It’s sad.

After watching that final episode of The Sixties, I was inspired to call this year’s birthday/anniversary celebration a “Love-In.” Our day in the park won’t be much different from what it was last year – in fact, it’ll be exactly the same – but, I enjoy the idea of people coming together to simply be happy with one another. That’s all I want for my anniversary. Love, happiness, and everybody having a good time.

This year has been a fucking shit-show. As things begin to look up, I really want to maintain a more positive focus on the bigger picture. The Love-In will be a good time. A lot of my friends expressed an enthusiastic interest, so I’m excited about it. In the spirit of good vibes, I might even invite RX. I’m still undecided on that one, though. I don’t want RX’s potential attendance to disrupt my tribal gathering, considering my friends know all about my complicated relationship with my ex-boyfriend.

After watching some of X-Men 2, I managed to lock myself in the gym and do my thing for a couple of hours. Satisfied with my sit-ups, I then lay outside in the sun for a while, continuing my ethnic background transition of Winter Pollock to Summer Syrian. Despite some peeling and shedding of my snakeskin – which I assume happens to all creatures of the deep – things are coming along nicely. Remember: if you can’t tone it, tan it!

Tonight, Mom had arranged a joint dinner with the Ricci family downtown. It had been a while since the families had gotten together, and their son Leo was in town for work. Mom, Dad, Phillip, and I piled into the car and drove down to Mill St. Pub in the Distillery District for dinner and drinks with the family of four. The evening was really nice. Naturally, I sat across the table from Katie, so the whole thing was essentially a catch-up session for the two of us.

Fortunately, my pseudo dinner date with Katie wasn’t the slightest bit awkward. Given the way things fizzled out between Kate and Katie’s childhood friendship all those years ago, I was worried about a potential confrontation. The key was actively avoiding any discussion about friends. Despite having maintained a much closer relationship with Kate, I don’t harbor the slightest bit of resentment towards Katie. We’ve known one another since we were babies, and Katie is an incredibly sweet person. But, obviously, Kate is – well, Kate’s my girl.

Naturally, the topic of “What are you doing for work,” came up tonight. Much to my surprise, it was the first time I had actually felt excited about my new job with The Clubhouse. No papers have been signed yet, so I was hesitant to divulge more than a basic amount of information about the position. However, it was great to finally be able to tell someone, “This is what I’m doing.” Fucking finally! On top of that, The Clubhouse actually seems like a cool place to work. I think I’m going to meet a lot of important people there. Maybe even a husband.

Dinner with the Ricci’s was a nice little reunion. I got a decent buzz off of my beers, but I kept it cute. It was also refreshing to get out of Casa Z for the evening. The family stopped at my apartment on our way home so I could grab a few items and bring them to the house with me.

Once I walked inside the Witch Cave, I quickly realized that I didn’t actually need anything. Instead, I proceeded to spend 15-minutes inspecting my floorboards and rugs for carpet beetles. I found four of the little fuckers. Thankfully, all were deceased. However, if I find a live one when I move back in, it’s pesticide time. I am not going through that hell again. Fuck. I need to move.

On the way home to Casa Z, my beer buzz quickly morphed into a headache, which lasted until I went to bed. A part of me thinks it was the alcohol, but this seems to happen whenever I take my Xanax. It’s great when the medication works, but there’s definitely a comedown. My body wants more.

Back at the house, I watched the first of CNN’s The Seventies documentaries with Mom and Dad. I think they really enjoyed the episode we watched – “Television Gets Real.” The Seventies were my parents’ teenage years. Whatever era you were born/raised in, I think we all look back on our teenage years with a certain degree of nostalgia.

Once Mom and Dad called it a night, I stayed up watching a bit of TV alone and then hobbled to bed. No Xanax tonight. Despite my headache, I’m feeling better and looking forward to moving back downtown soon.

That was my Saturday.

Goodnight xo

“A love-in is a peaceful public gathering focused on meditation, love, music, sex and/or use of psychedelic drugs.” What’s not to love?

A love-in is a peaceful public gathering focused on meditation, love, music, sex and/or use of psychedelic drugs.” What’s not to love?