Pretty big waste of a day, to tell you the truth.
I slept in as late as I could this morning. My foot is feeling much better than yesterday. At this point, I’m still taking my pain medication every four hours, but I probably don’t need to be. I just want to avoid any and all discomfort. I figure, by the time the bottle is empty, I should be able to manage the pain on my own.
Still in bed, I dealt with some of the messages that I had ignored yesterday. I also ended up having a decently long conversation with RX, after he had sent me a cryptic, “Guess what!” message early this morning. Isn’t that weird? RX always seems to come into my life when I’ve been thinking about him. This happens all the time.
Responding to RX, I “guessed” three things:
Kurt: “You’re going to Disney World”
Kurt: “It’s a long weekend”
Kurt: “You’re moving to New York City”
When RX said no to the first two options, but didn’t respond to the New York City option, my heart sank. Don’t leave. Please. Don’t move away. I don’t even know why I care so much. Well, I do know. I just don’t want to commit it to writing. RX can’t move, though. I don’t want him to leave.
Well, it turned out that RX definitely wasn’t moving to New York City. The “thing” was that his best friend Isabella is moving to Toronto, and the two of them will be moving in together. The condo they’ve rented is just a short walk from the Witch Cave, actually. We talked about RX’s upcoming move for quite a while.
Kurt: “That’s fantastic! That will be great for you.”
RX: “I’m so excited! I will be genuinely happy for the first time in a while.”
Kurt: “Genuinely happy? What’s wrong?”
RX: “Nothing super specifically. In general, I’m just not that happy with my current situation.”
On that note, we proceeded to talk about RX’s roommate problems, along with some general updates about his life. I asked RX a lot of questions. I always do. RX didn’t ask me anything back. He never does. It’s not that I’m searching for attention when I talk to RX, but a part of me wishes that he had more of an interest in what’s going on in my life. RX has always been like that, though. Our conversation ended after less than two hours.
After talking with RX, I went downstairs. I had some breakfast/lunch, watched TV, and then went back upstairs to my room and smoked a bong. What. The. Fuck. Honestly, it seemed like such a good idea at the time.
Now, it’s 1:30 a.m. About 12-hours later, and I still feel hazy and chunky as all hell. I think there needs to be a hard shutdown. No more of this relaxed, “I love weed, but I probably shouldn’t smoke it,” attitude. No. I can’t “love” weed anymore. This is not fun!
Sufficiently stoned, I went outside to lie by the pool for a while. I could only take about 45-minutes, because my body was so badly burned from yesterday. I’m officially screwed. I returned to my bedroom, and cooled down on my bed for a while. I think there was steam coming off of my chest.
Having finally stopped sweating, I hopped downstairs, watched Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope in the family room, and then fell asleep pon de couch. I woke up to Mom holding my foot in the air, trying to move it on to some pillows. No. No, no, no! Do not do that! Immediately after Mom’s invasion, I left for my room and fell asleep on my bed.
A few hours later, I returned downstairs to join the family for some dinner and their Toronto Raptors basketball game. When that garbage was over, Phillip and I watched a Christmas movie – The Night Before. Phillip’s film interests always surprise. That movie was dumb as all hell, but then Phillip can flip it around and be really interested in avant-garde films. Mind you, I’m not exactly one to be judging film interests.
I’m looking forward to getting back to 100%. I feel like I’m quickly turning into the Incredible Blob without being able to exercise. The thought of this impairment ruining everything I’ve worked for all winter is really stressing me out. And when I am stressed, I eat. It’s not a good cycle.
It could be a mix of pain killers, constipation, and long weekend vibes, but I just don’t give a fuck right now. That’s why I smoked today. I don’t mind that attitude – at least I have a reasonable excuse for it, given the fact that I’m forced to hop around on one foot to get anywhere – but I don’t want to smoke. Of all things, that’s my limit. The limit, I tell you!
I feel like garbage right now. Red, hot, steamy garbage, filled with sugar from ten popsicles.
Goodnight xo
I sent this video to RX during our exchange this morning. It’s an inside joke from Will & Grace – one of the shows we bonded over while dating. Kurt’s Bedroom, Casa Z
My stump. Family Room, Casa Z